I love you too my love.

I never ever regret meeting you, or getting to know you. People say miracles rarely happen, but you have no idea what a miracle you are to me. The times we laughed together, cried together and went nuts together. They were the times i treasure the most. I miss seeing you everyday like how we used to. Eating together, crapping together.

You have no idea how jealous i am whenever i see you hanging out with your friends now. How i wish we did not have to graduate from SAC. Although i have always been stating how much i hated that school and how much i could not wait to graduate? I take them all back. Those four years of my life were the best!

The days, the hours, the minutes, the seconds we spent together were the best. The birthday celebrations beside the canal. The making-fun-of-the-bimbos moments. The i-love-you-and-am-gonna-keep-loving-you emotions. You guys were the best angels that were given to me.

Yes, i complain about how my life sucks and stuff, but at times like now, i realise, that i am a very very very lucky person. I have 10 wonderful miracles beside me. 10 wonderful angels who are there for me when i need a ear, or a shoulder. A hug, a whispered word, a chaste kiss on the cheek. Everything i took for granted until i lost them.

To my 10 angels, no matter how much i say i love Teukie, or Super Junior. I really want you to know, those 15 men can never take any of your places. I would never choose them over you. Nor will aikido ever come between us. You are my darlings, and nothing will change that.

I love you guys to bits. And i really hope we can stay the way we were in those short 4 years. I love you people and will always do.

Heys people.

Its been quite some time since i last blogged. Man, school's getting rather tough.. I am getting so pissed off at the amount of reports and projects they keep chucking at us. What the hell.. I don't really mind the time table but recently, i keep finding that there is not enough time for anything anymore!

I start school early and end late. I especially hate tuesdays. I start at 8 am and only get to go home at 7pm. I get so tired, i can't even concentrate during psychology lec. I keep nodding off without even realising it! If Xun Hui was not there with me, i really think i would not be able to stay awake through that one hour lecture at all.

Sigh... I was rushing to finish a lab report just now. God, i realised how hard it is to complete something when there are restrains. Who the hell can complete a report that had a introduction, objectives, materials&methods, results, discussion and lastly a conclusion in merely three pages? Plus, it is not like the font they made us use is small okay.. It is Times New Roman, font size 12.

My eyes are barely open right now... But damn it, i just felt like i had to rant.. I really should not have taken my frustrations out on Parthiban just now. He was just being nice, telling me what i had to add and remove in my report... Gah.. Now i feel so freaking guilty!!! T_T I wish i could just stop time for a day and do whatever i like and rest or play or do anything i like!

Exams are already coming in a few weeks time. And i have not started my revision... I cannot even keep up with my homework, how am i supposed to revise. I know, i know. I have to make time, but i just realised how hard it is to just try and make some time in my schedule. Especially since, the temptation of leaving my only free day free is so strong...

Plus, there is a concert on the 12th of December, Seoul'd Out. And i really really wanna go for it. But nobody wants to go with me!! Damn it. I wanna see Hongki!! Haiz... FT Island is gonna be there so is Brown Eyed Girls. Damn it.. My mum actually allows me to go and said okay to help whoever is going with me order the tickets for us. But no one seems to be interested. And going alone is mighty sad...

AH!!!!!! PLEASE!!! SOMEONE GO WITH ME!!!!!! T_T

I hate school... I need to sleep... @_@

He keeps ignoring me!! I call him and he won't answer me. He keeps going away from me!!! T_T I don't want!! Omg...

I bought hinm a muzzle because i need to clean his ear. His ear is infected, and there is alot of ous. I have to clean it so that his ear would not get worse, like having houseflies lay their damn eggs in it. So i put on the muzzle, and cleaned his ears. Now he hates me!!!

He was so sad when i cleaned his ear. IT must have hurt him alot because he kept giving me his paw, i think he thought i was punishing him for something! No, he's my darling, i won't do any shit like that.. Oh my god... T_T Now he hates me and keeps ignoring me.. Omg...

What am i supposed to do now?? My darling hates me!!!! Omg. I'm so sorry Dalphie..!! My baby boy hates me...

Oh my mummy... I am aching all over!! My muscles feel as though they are gonna tear any time i move it awkwardly. Like if i walk a little weirdly. Ouchies.

Wanna know the reason why today's training seemed to affect my body so much more? After receiving what the seniors felt of us, like us not working hard enough, i felt that i needed to buck up a lot. Therefore, i trained really hard today.

Before training, i helped carry the mats down and set the mats. Wanted to help with the cleaning but CY asked us to go upstairs and change into our Gi. So we did. When we came down, we started warm-ups and started to train.

I am freaking tired right now, but i felt that i needed to blog this down, since my seniors said they were actually proud of us today. They said that there was a huge improvement in all of us today. Kris said that she was surprised at how fast and early the dojo was set up and that she was very happy about this! =D

Lin Quan did too! He mentioned on the TP Aikido tag board that he had seen a big improvement in us today~ I am so happy~!

The only thing that could bring my mood down, would most definitely be the fact that i cannot slam properly. I do not know if it is my sub-conscious fear of failing and falling on to my back or something, but i just cannot slam! I keep injuring myself, and making the seniors worry and kinda frustrated. Bugger... LQ, Kris and ZZ keep trying to teach me, but for some stupid reason, i cannot seem to slam properly... Sigh..

Uber tired now... Manice came over this afternoon after our first (and last) lecture of the day. We watched Saw V. Well, i watched it mostly, cause Manice was tired and i let her use my bed. She fell asleep almost at once. She must have been super tired, waking up at around six or seven to travel from Yio Chu Kang all the way to Tampines for just a two hour lecture. Although she did have CDS at four, but yeah.

I think i shall go to bed now. My eyes are like shutting down already. Hahas. It's past me bedtime already~ Hahas. I am so immature... x]

Love me, thank you
Hate me, F*** You!

Hahas, joking joking~ x]]

Hell.. What to do..?

The seniors are all getting so frustrated over us sucking too much in aikido. Each blog i read, seem to amplify the stress they are receiving from sensei. Sigh.. I want to be better in aikido, i want to show them that we do not suck that much, and that in this 'family' we can have fun and work hard at the same time.

We may not be as awesome as the SP people, but we do try. I really hate it when you say that we are not working hard, that we are slacking all the time. However, do you really have the right to say that when you have not seen us carrying the mats down, standing in the lifts, arms aching already, but still loading the mats in and bringing them down. You have not seen us setting the mats, nor cleaning them.

I did join in the cleaning of mats during the holidays when you, the captain was off in some computer competition. Joanne and i were there to help, wiping the mats under the scorching sun (no kidding).

We helped, but you did not see. The one day we relaxed as there were already a lot of people helping out with the mats, you come and complain that we are not working. What do you expect us to do? Stand downstairs, and watch the others set the mats, half dressed?

God, i am like so affected by this shit now. You people act like you do not mind it, but when we turn around you start talking bad about us. God i could not believe you would say: 'The girls are actually helping'. What?! You have no idea what that made us feel. Lord.

I hate it when politics happen within a close knit group. Now it feels like it would never be the same as before, even though before was not even all that great... Sigh..

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